With Or Without Paper

This week I received some rather rattling medical news and although the biospy results are not back yet,it is possible a lesion on my arm was a form of skin cancer. Most of my life this sort of information would only have been shared with a few close friends and family... but I am changing. I know that more than ever the painting process is helping me to navigate through deep,strange waters and I want to share this with as many people as possible. I want to share because I know how this process is impacting my life and maybe it could help someone else too.

Lately, it would seem, I have been repeatedly asked to sit with not knowing what something is, where it is going and seriously NOT liking how that feels. How funny (?) that this is EXACTLY what is happening in my current painting. The images coming this time have felt murky and heavy. They are less familiar to me and so there is a feeling of discomfort whenever I disengage from the process. It has been a great challenge just to show up in front of the painting and be with what wants to come. I would much rather tear it off the wall and start something new and familiar. But I don't. I stay. I feel and I paint. The times I am fully engaged in painting and choose to breathe with the moment and the color connecting from brush to paper are what keep me coming back. And these moments are what get me through not knowing what is going to happen next in my life when I'm not painting.

Sitting in the exam room at the doctor's office,I remember the studio and how it feels to be fully present in my painting with the sun shining through the window and the feel of the brush in my hand. I understand again that life can be like a painting. I may not know where it is leading or even what it is. The images may be unfamiliar and scary to me and that's ok. I notice everything in the moment and decide to practice not getting caught up in thoughts about things that haven't even happened yet. I take a deep breath and notice as I exhale.

This process has helped me through the toughest times of my life. Painting has taught me how to stay and remain present through my mother's five year fight with Alzheimer's disease and my father's rapid death from cancer. There were times I would worry about the next step of the disease with my parents wondering if I would be able to make it without crumbling. When I chose to be present with what was unfolding, miracles happened. Laughing with my father as we all sat on his bed the night of my birthday 4 days before he died, I chose to be present. I found true joy in our conversation and realized maybe for the first time how brillant and blue his eyes were.

There is a sweetness that happens when you let go and surrender to what is. I know for a fact without painting in my life I would have missed  some of the most important moments with my parents in their final weeks and years. Painting has given me a tool I can use with or without paper. Painting has taught me courage and peace in present moment awareness.

Falling in Love With Yourself

As we approach the Valentine's season, some questions we'd like to ask you are: Do you remember what brings you joy? Do you know what wholeness feels like?

The Valentine's holiday has become so commercialized and can also feel so yucky if you're not involved in a romantic relationship. But there's another kind of "love" that does not involve buying things or seeking a special someone who fills the missing pieces of our lives. We're referring to the Love that is true and eternal, that we experience when we return to ourselves and discover our true nature. That Love is not dependent on other people or outer circumstances; it is the natural joy that arises when we are fully present to ourselves and our present-moment experiences.

We invite you to say "yes" to you and carve out a little time this month to give back to yourself. In fact, we've planned a daylong retreat Saturday, Feb. 11, 2012 to help you feel pampered as you nurture, restore and unlock your creativity.

We will use process painting along with journaling to explore and reconnect with our essence. And special guest Karen Folgarelli will treat us during the afternoon with vibrational sound therapy using zither harps, which cleanse, uplift and de-stress with the frequencies of restoration. You will feel renewed and inspired in this warm and welcoming space.

Whatever your plans involve in the coming weeks, we hope they include something that nourishes your heart and soul and brings you the joy that lasts. When you fall in love with yourself, you fall in love with the world!

Namasté,

Jen & Steph

---

Falling in Love With Yourself

A Day-long Retreat at Creative Nectar Studio

Saturday, February 11, 2012

10 am-4:30 pm

$80
More information at our Facebook event page.

Email us at creativenectar@hotmail.com to reserve your spot (Sign-up required by Feb 9th. Limited to 10 participants.)

---

Your Brain on Creativity

Let me start by saying that I'm no neuroscientist. I am an artist and workshop facilitator. I have spent countless hours immersed in the creative process. Still, I am absolutely fascinated by the ways engaging the creative process seeps out to affect other areas of our lives. Specifically how painting-for-process--as a mindfulness practice--can bring integration and clarity into our day-to-day routines, relationships, jobs and lives.

What is unique about this practice--as compared to "art" in general--is that we are creating not for product or a desired outcome, but for the discovery itself and self-awareness it brings. And no matter how difficult it is to still our minds or quiet our inner critics, the place we often arrive at after a process painting session is an integrated state. A coherence of body, mind, emotions, thoughts, etc, that brings a peaceful clarity and sense of unity of self.

What are some of the qualities we develop from process painting that can benefit our lives?

• An Open, Receptive Mind
  The practice of painting for process helps us soften our mental labels and develop a sense of curiosity toward life and whatever is unfolding before us. The Zen Buddhists refer to this as "beginner's mind"--or having an attitude of openness, eagerness and a lack of preconceptions when studying a subject. We open ourselves to unlimited possibilities when we learn to let go of our judgements. This is an invaluable skill when it comes to thinking "outside the box" to solve problems in daily life.
  
  
• Living "In the Zone"
  When we paint mindfully, we are painting with our whole being. This means surrendering to the process wholly and allowing it to move through us, rather than allowing our brains to command tasks of our hands and bodies. At the same time, when we are engaged in an activity wholeheartedly while immersed in a focused concentration, we set up the conditions to live "in the zone" or "flow", as described by flow psychology. This is the timeless and blissful state of total efficiency and integration, and can be experienced in any area of our lives (whether we are painting, playing a sport, completing a task at work, doing the dishes, etc...)
  
  
• Reduced Stress/Increased Joy
  These are natural by-products of the process when we discover that there are no mistakes, that we can trust our own process, and that we can accept ourselves and others just as we've shown up. An inner joy arises when we make the shift from black & white judgments to "full-spectrum" thinking, and when our inner creative child--unconditioned by our culture's biases and limitations-- can come out and play.

I invite you to give process painting a try if you are looking for ways to dissolve blocks, expand your awareness and create from the inside out. And you just might find that possibilities open in other, seemingly "non-related" areas of your life.

Live your creativity,

Jenny

Painting is My Greatest Teacher

*This is an eleven year old journal entry about painting and expectations. Unfortunately, those pesky expectations still follow me around on a daily basis. The good news is I don't hang on to them as long as I did back then. Painting really is teaching me how to live.

"Painting is teaching me how to live." I can still remember hearing those words from a fellow painter over a year ago and now I was writing them in my journal feeling, as she must have felt, grateful and in awe of the process. As I write I realize painting is the only work I can do that transitions naturally from the page out into my daily life.I've read tons of books. I've meditated and chanted and gone to a lecture here and there. But painting allows me to face myself and my choices each time I put paint to paper.

The other night as I began to work on a painting that had been unfolding for several months, a beautiful woman began to emerge effortlessly from a pink and powerful flower. She was silver and fuchsia with black outlines. I was there for her with every paint stroke, providing the muscle and love needed to create her.It was a smooth and pleasurable experience. The genuine joy I experienced that night was unmatched and I was genuinely sad to leave her.

I didn't paint for a few days and began to miss the warm connection the fuchsia woman and i had shared.I was excited to see her again! When I was able to paint again I got right to it knowing she must have been missing me as much as I missed her. As I began to paint I could tell immediately something wasn't right. Things felt awkward and forced. I was expecting a repeat performance of the other night and she wasn't cooperating. Where was my joyful bliss-filled connection? It would seem my joy had been replaced by an ugly cold shoulder, a blatant refusal to bend to my direction and do as I expected. All I wanted was to give her a beautiful face and it wasn't working. In fact, the harder I pushed the more contorted her features became. I simply could not accept the fact that her face wasn't going to look the way I wanted and it hurt me to look at her misshapen features.

Why was it so important to me that she appear beautiful? Was it easier for me to deal with a beautiful face? I had expected our time together to mirror our last meeting and when that didn't happen I clung to the idea that I could change her and the moment to give me what I wanted. I pushed and pulled against the current that night, trying to make the situation feel good.It never occurred to me that I could accept what was happening and just go with it... maybe even get a little curious about what the situation had to offer. That night, instead of being present for what wanted to show up, I made the choice to try to fix things and focus on all that I perceived to be "wrong" with my painting.

Later I realized this was how I was choosing to live my life. I was constantly attaching certain expectations to everything and everyone. It was starting to dawn on me that by creating these expectations I was setting myself up for all sorts of disappointments. Admittedly this was not a foreign concept to me. Reading all my books and going to my various lectures and workshops had allowed me to visit and revisit the idea of living without expectations. But that night, nose to nose with my painting, I felt it. For the first time I truly took it in and understood that I was the one who was making it so hard. I was choosing to struggle when I could just let go.

New Year/New You

January marks the begining of a new year and the chance to start fresh. When we sit down with pen and paper to come up with a list of resolutions for the coming year, often the plans include losing weight or "getting into shape", making more money or starting a new relationship. But how often do we include "self care" as a resolution? So many of us are too busy helping others--or trying to lose those extra pounds--that we forget an important truth: Getting to know our true self and finding our center (if only for a few hours a month) will help all else fall into place.

This month and all year long we invite you to take some time for you.
Peace and love in the new year!
Jen and Steph

The Art of Getting Curious

It's a bird ... it's a plane ... it's a make-up-wearing volcano carrying a handbag! Seriously, this is what process painting can be like when you're present to the flow. We have ideas of what we want to paint, or what the desired outcome should look like. But when we just start making marks and follow our energy and curiosity--without being too quick to label--well, look out!

The problem is we often censor what wants to come out. What? Abraham Lincoln goes there? A baby on a candy cane in the middle of my masterpiece? No way. What will the others think of me? But when we say "no" to what our creative spark wants, we often find we get bored. Or tired. Or we just don't want to paint anymore. And suddenly the thrill is gone. We're creatively blocked.

Can you simply remain curious as a child and just play--remaining open enough to explore this new thing before you? That means not taking your painting (or yourself) too seriously. It means listening closely enough to hear the needs of the moment, and allowing them to unfold organically without having the answers.

It requires having enough trust in ourselves and in the process that we can stand back and receive. We do not have to be in control. In fact, we're not! (Much to our dismay.)

"What is this?" With fresh eyes and a beginner's mind, "Where does this want to go?" Let it go. It might not make any sense. It might be more fantastic than your mind can conceive. When you're following the thread of your authentic creative spark, the universe is the limit.

Paying it Forward

It's December ... that magical month that ushers in the holidays, family tradition and the feeling of gratitude and goodwill for all. We too are feeling grateful for the opportunity to share our passion for creativity and the healing it can bring.

Because process painting has personally helped both of us in profound ways, we feel that anyone who has the desire to paint—regardless of their finacial situation—should be able to paint. We do not turn anyone away due to an inability to pay.

Have you been moved by the painting process yourself? Or just want to provide an opportunity for others? Please help us "pay it forward"! We are graciously receiving contributions—no matter how large or small. Please find our "donate" button on this website if you feel so moved.

Thank you for helping Creative Nectar continue to offer what we are most passionate about: Bringing the power of the creative process to as many people as possible.
We wish you peace, joy and abundance this season!

Jen and Steph