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Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Finding Comfort Within Change

"The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance."
—Alan Watts

It's a new year and things seem to be changing for many of us - our career path, where we live, how we see the world around us, our relationships and how we view ourselves all seem to be changing in one way or another. So often change isn't comfortable because we have no idea what to expect once the transformation is complete. It can feel scary especially when we know things are changing but are unsure of the end result. When we don't have all the details our brain tends to make them up for us and then we have a million scenarios running around upstairs all wanting our attention.

In the studio, we play with the question, "What if change and the unknown could be met with curiosity?" and we arm ourselves with the comforting knowledge that everything changes eventually--it is the only certainty we have. This knowledge lends itself to an exploration of the grandest kind and we discover a freedom in creating just to see what happens, unsure of the outcome. Carrying this freedom out into our lives creates some space for whatever arises and we remember to breathe, movewith it and join the dance.

Wishing you much love and peace in the new year,
Steph and Jen

Monday, December 15, 2014

Nectar's Next Chapter Is Here

The new studio has been built and we are so pleased to share with you some pictures of Creative Nectar's new sister studio! Housed in Stephanie's home, Inside Out Studio is nestled in a small tree-filled lake community just 8 minutes North of downtown KC.


The studio is in a secluded setting and feels safe and nurturing. 6 People can fit comfortably in the space and painting will officially start the first weekend in March 2015


Stephanie will be facilitating 2-3 classes a week and seasonal day-long retreats with both Steph and Jen will be scheduled throughout the year.




We are also very excited to launch our new website early in the coming year. The site will be easy to maneuver in and have interactive options that will expand as time goes on. Basically, you won't have to live in Kansas City to be a part of our community because our website will be able to meet you right where you are with blog posts, MP3 downloads, videos, products and eventually on-line classes.

Also on the horizon, we will be offering another process painting series at Awaken Whole Life Center in the Spring and painting mixed with Equine Therapy this Summer. We have much going on and are excited for the future. We are constantly blown away by what occurs when we go with the flow and allow what is wanting to happen next.

With gratitude and many thanks,
Steph and Jen




Monday, December 1, 2014

The Magical Properties of Hibernation

“And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it.”
                                  ― Roald Dahl


 There are times in the studio and in our lives when we feel as if nothing is moving. We are stuck beyond belief and cannot find our way out. It is in these times that we question whether anything at all is really happening. "Why do we do this work?" "What could possibly be the purpose?"
We can feel our wheels spinning as we go nowhere fast.
As we paint, we are asked to trust these moments and lean into the uncomfortable stickiness of them. Could we see our stuckness as a type of hibernation, knowing that as we slow way down we our resting for a big awakening in the Spring?
So much lately, individually and at Nectar, appears to be in a grand pause and as we move closer toward the Winter solstice, the desire to burrow ever deeper underground is an intriguing idea. Feeling into that perceived lack of movement and getting curious about its' magical properties is a way for us to navigate through the muck. Both in our painting and outside the studio, we can trust that our being stuck is absolutely fine and that even though things feel stuck there is indeed movement happening just below the surface.

Wishing you all the best this winter season,
Jen and Steph

Monday, November 10, 2014

The Gift of Shame


"...real freedom is not about getting away from what is troubling us but rather about going into and through it.We emerge with a few scars and probably a little less skin, but emerge we do, no longer bypassing our less flattering qualities. This is fierce, unconditional love for ourselves, alive with spiritual boldness that serves us all."

- Robert Augustus Masters (Spiritual Bypassing - When Spitiruality Disconnects Us from What Really Matters )


A few weeks ago in honor of Halloween and Day of the Dead, we decided to have a funeral for Shame. Nothing too fancy, we would paint as we normally do on Saturday morning, but also build an altar in the middle of our gathering table so after we finished painting, we could "lay our shame to rest". It was amazing what happened because at the end of  the painting session, we all came to the same conclusion, we didn't feel like we could lay our shame to rest because it was still very much a part of us and it wouldn't feel right to bury it because it for sure wasn't dead! Burying Shame felt like another way to push aside valuable information we are given about our interior. Instead of being ashamed of the shame, we could come to see its' presence as a gift and something to get curious about and explore. 

What an incredible idea! What if, instead of locking away the parts of  ourselves that feel too yucky to show to the world, we brought them out into the light and began to love the them? What if we were all really honest about our shame and started talking about it to people every day?  This is what we cultivate in the studio. Honesty and and working to meet our wholeness are the things that come up again and again at Nectar. Working in this way isn't always easy. Process Painting is invisible work and something not easily explained, but it is potent and when we are ready, it can be absolutely life changing.

Monday, November 3, 2014

Giving Thanks


We are still reeling from the amazing response we had to our Indiegogo fund raising campaign. Just 6 weeks ago we took the scary leap to publicly ask for help and boy did we get it! With over 700 views and an astonishing number of shares on Facebook and through email, we were humbled and our hearts were melted. Thanks to your many generous gifts, the studio raised $7,530.00! With this money we will be able to move forward into Nectar's next phase.

Please check back here for updates and more blogs from the studio in the very near future.
THANK YOU from the bottoms of our hearts. What a perfect way to begin this Thanksgiving season....fully immersed in gratitude!

With Love and Thanks,
Steph and Jen

Friday, October 24, 2014

Nectar's Big Adventure



These are exciting times for us at Creative Nectar Studio! As we make our way through so much that is still unknown we are reminded of working on a process painting. In the studio we may start with an idea of how we'd like things to look, but as we continue to paint we realize it has other ideas on the matter. We can struggle and scream and try to push upstream or we can relax into what actually is and go with the flow, trusting that there are gifts there to be found even though we may not initially understand it or like how it looks.
As we go with the flow of Nectar's next phase, we realize that things may not look like what we originally envisioned, but growth is happening as we step into the next chapter with curiosity and wonder. We made a quick video to share with you about just that. Our online campaign ends November 2nd and we could still really use your help.
Thanks to all who've contributed so far. We are overwhelmed by your support and encouragement for what happens at the studio!
Sending you much love,
Steph and Jen

Monday, September 29, 2014

Exploring Our Vulnerable Side

“...and that visibility which makes us most vulnerable

is that which also is the source of our greatest strength.” 

― Audre Lorde"
 
The last few months have been financially hard on the studio and we've navigated our way through grief and anger at the idea of having to let go of our dream. Initially, we made the decision to close the doors when our lease runs out next March. However, after sitting with that awhile it became clear that we're not ready to give up! We want to fight for all we have built at Nectar, continue to offer this deep work and...ask for help. We realized just closing our doors was easier than having to show our less-than-perfect vulnerable side to the public and seek support.

So here we are, with all of our imperfections, asking for help. Much of what we do in the studio calls on us to dig deeply and get in touch with that "less than perfect" stuff that feels  uncomfortable and vulnerable. It only makes sense for us to explore what's happening with Nectar in the same way. So, we have started an Indiegogo campaign and we would love it if you could donate and/or share our campaign.We can't do this without you! THANK YOU ALL for helping in any way that feels right for you.
 
Jenny & StephanieIn Gratitude,
Jen and Steph

Thursday, August 28, 2014

Exploring Our Inner Wisdom


"If you can listen and respond to the inner messages of your spirit, then you're in a state of nourishment."
- "If the Buddha Came to Dinner:
How to Nourish Your Body to Awaken Your Spirit" 
 
In the studio part of what we are learning to do is truly listen to ourselves again. As we begin this relearning, it can feel unfamiliar. For most of us, we have been under the impression that what is going on inside isn't enough and we must search outside ourselves for the solution. The idea that we hold all the answers seems unrealistic so we shut down our internal guidance system. Painting gives us the opportunity get curious about our inner wisdom again. In addition to the many painting options available this month we are pleased to be offering a powerful 3 week series with long-time painter and nutrition coach Karen Ialapi. Using discussion and process painting  Karen and Stephanie will gently guide us to explore our hunger from a place of curiosity and non-judgement as we reconnect with our internal wisdom and pave our own path to True Nourishment.
We look forward to seeing you this month!
 
Jenny & StephanieSending you much love,
Jen and Steph

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Giving Back To Our Community

 "To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded." 
      ―Ralph Waldo Emerson
 
A few months ago our friend James told us about a group of artists he'd met on First Friday that really moved him (JCDS Emerging Artists). He was so inspired by what they were doing he bought a piece they had for sale and quickly contacted Jenny to see if we'd like to paint with them. He also graciously offered to pay for their painting workshop at the studio so none of us would have to worry about where the money would come from.

Last Wednesday we had the pleasure of hosting 5 painters from this program along with their director—it a heart-opening experience that all fell effortlessly into place. And all this from one person who was moved to the point of action. We ALL really can make a difference. James knew that this would be a good match even though the Emerging Artists and Creative Nectar knew nothing of each other. He followed his heart and he got it right.

This is a call for all of us to follow our hearts.What has inspired you? What would you like to share and who would you like to share it with? If you don't have the time to participate but you have the money, you can fund an event. If you don't have the money but you have the time, you can volunteer or look for sponsors. This is how change happens.... one person at a time.
 
Jenny & StephanieSending you much love,
Jen and Steph

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Loving The Broken Pieces


Kintsugi (金継ぎ?) (Japanesegolden joinery) or Kintsukuroi (金繕い?) (Japanesegolden repair) is the Japanese art of fixing broken pottery with lacquer resin dusted or mixed with powdered goldsilver, or platinum a method similar to the maki-e technique. As a philosophy it speaks to breakage and repair becoming part of the history of an object, rather than something to disguise.  - Wikipedia 

Earlier this year during a Spring storm, our sign hanging outside the studio fell and split in two. We quickly set out to "correct" the matter by purchasing a new wood round and spending a few hours priming both sides. After that our white circle remained in the closet for several months. During this time we both worked with the realization that we each had an individual path we needed to take. For awhile, we weren't sure how it would work. The need to be a fully present and authentic person in the world, while working in partnership, felt confusing. How could we have one united front if we were both wanting different things as well as what we had created at Nectar?  What we discovered after some heart-felt talks and lots of painting is that the only thing that needed to change was the idea of what being in a business partnership meant. We realized that growing on our own path while moving toward the same goal for the studio felt stronger than trying to morph into something that wasn't fully representative of either one of us.

The work that happens at Nectar is deep and potent, not only for those who come to paint, but for us as well. It's this work that led us to the idea of mending our broken sign.

 We each worked on half of the sign, writing intentions for ourselves and for the studio. 
Then we painted our half with gold paint.
After some wood glue and a night of rest with some bungee cords, we have our sign back. Stronger from what was once viewed as an imperfection. 

Our sign now hangs as a reminder for us every time we arrive at the studio. Our cracks are not something to fix or try to hide, but rather an invitation to grow and make friends with what we feel is broken, ultimately making us stronger and whole.

Whether you paint with us on a regular basis, have only painted once, or come to our website from time to time, you are helping to grow this community and we are grateful.

Thanks and Love,
Steph and Jen

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Living In Awareness: Learning To Listen To Ourselves

 “We have all a better guide in ourselves, if we would attend to it, than any other person can be.” 
      ―Jane Austen
 
A few weeks ago a woman who hadn't painted at Nectar before asked us a really good question: "Is it possible to 'outsmart' the process?" The answer is a juicy one because if we've painted for a long time it may seem we can outsmart the process...but like us, it is highly individual and our own experience. Painting in this way asks us to check in with ourselves; our energy level, how we feel in our body and what holds our curiosity in the moment. Because we are constantly changing, so is that which resonates with us.

This is not to say that we each haven't tried to out-wit our paintings from time to time, or gloss over difficulties when that might have seemed easier... But in the end, our energy level toward the painting will tell us if we're fooling ourselves or looking for bypasses. This awareness of "what is ours to do" is the absolute magic of process painting and cultivates intuition as we learn to listen and to communicate with our deeper knowing.

We have several options for painting deeply this month including a Friday morning session on July 4th! Looking forward to seeing you all.
 
Jenny & StephanieSending you much love,
Jen and Steph

Sunday, June 1, 2014

Home Is Where The Heart Is: Painting From Our Heart Space

“I long, as does every human being, to be at home wherever I find myself.”

 - Maya Angelou
 
At the studio, we are learning to paint from our hearts instead of our heads. When we take the courageous plunge into the unknown and begin to paint what is being asked from within--instead of what someone else has asked us to paint--things begin to shift. Self-awareness unfolds. We are given the gift of discovering who we truly are and loving ourselves from the inside out. Painting can help us develop the understanding that our home truly is where our heart is--and we can carry that feeling of home inside of us at all times, wherever we go.
We look forward to seeing you this Summer!
 Sending you much love,
         Jen and Steph
Jenny & Stephanie 

Thursday, May 1, 2014

Painting In Community: Courage Is Contagious

"Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage."
 - Anais Nin
 

Coming to the studio isn't just about painting. Because we paint in community, we are given the unique opportunity to move in a deeper way as we're gently nudged and inspired by the brave souls painting next to us. Lama Surya Das speaks of "sangha" as "community, common embrace, communion; it's a sanctuary, a safe place to let down our guard." (From his book Awakening to the Sacred: Creating a Personal Spiritual Life.) 

There is something reassuring about others showing up for themselves and creating along side us. Sometimes we arrive at the page feeling vulnerable. Simply by moving into that vulnerability with openness and color can urge another to explore a similar place in themselves. We're reminded of Marianne Williamson's quote from her book A Return to Love: "...As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

There are many opportunities to paint in sacred community this month. We hope you'll join us!
Jenny & Stephanie
Sending you much love,
     Jen and Steph

Friday, February 28, 2014

The Promise Of Spring: Finding Hope In The Dark

“The deep roots never doubt spring will come.” 
 

It's been a long, cold winter and--as we write this--more snow and another arctic blast are in the forecast. It's hard to believe that Spring is officially just around the corner when all we see is more Winter.

This reminds us of painting and how we are asked again and again to trust the process. We dive into the unknown, and sometimes find ourselves in dark and murky waters where nothing makes sense and the promise of more darkness is all we can see. Sticking with the discomfort and discovering where it leads is a "winter" of sorts.

Painting the tough stuff can also be like planting a garden. We plant seeds and tend to the soil that is sometimes fortified with manure. Our hands become dirty and our backs ache and yet we continue to plant our seeds because we know that what we can't see will grow. Eventually our labor and faith are rewarded when a tiny green bud pokes its head through the dirt to greet the sun. Painting asks us to trust that there is more growing just below the surface and that our process is as fluid and ever-changing as the seasons.

We have several opportunities to paint this month and look forward to seeing you in the studio!
Jenny & StephanieHere's to creating a beautiful Spring!
Jen and Steph

Sunday, February 9, 2014

The Path From Here to Happiness


We hear this all the time in the studio... a lamenting, a craving...
"... I just want my painting to be pretty! I want it to convey a sense of peace because that's what I'm working on manifesting in my life. I want to be normal. I don't want to feel this crap and paint the 'dark and ugly' stuff because that's not what I want to affirm it in my life." 
The friction comes from the fact that, perhaps in that moment, "peace" is not what's present. "Pretty" is not what wants to be painted. That's what we think and hope for, but the reality is that when we're given a paintbrush and a palette of color in a safe, supportive environment and and have total freedom without someone telling us how it's supposed to be, often what shows up after a while is...Our SHADOW! (insert scary music here)

That's right, all that stuff we've been repressing because it's not socially acceptable or spiritually aligned, all that stuff that's messy and shameful and hard to deal with, all that stuff that we were at one time conditioned to hide in order to please our parents or stay out of trouble at school or to "get into heaven"...all of THAT stuff begins to rise to the surface.

Why, you ask, does it rear it's ugly head now? I believe it's because in order to be whole, our psyches and souls need integration. It's part of the healing process and a necessary step in our evolution. When we slow down enough and quiet our minds enough and allow spaces for what wants happen...well, let the discovery begin!

Perhaps it's an unresolved childhood trauma, or anger we haven't expressed toward a boss or spouse, or some shame for not living up to the expectations of our parents, or maybe grief around the hatred of our own bodies over the years and all the things we've done to be seen and loved. Whatever it is, it wants to be seen. It's demanding it. It gets harder and harder to resist it. And we're terrified. Because we're afraid that if we let it in, it will stay. Linger forever and ever.

But this is where the paradox lies and the magic happens... Time and time again I see it--when we (perhaps reluctantly) allow ourselves to feel the feelings and explore it with paint... when we surrender and "put our head in the mouth of the demon" so to speak, asking it what is has to say or show us... inevitably, it transforms. The resistance softens and we find ourselves getting curious about what this monster looks like, and we are at the bravest spot--the most vulnerable and truthful and humble--as the emotions flow and the entire body and psyche are present to this overwhelming expression.


And then suddenly we realize after shining light on our darkest pieces and shifting our relationship to our shadowy selves, that a strange peacefulness has enveloped us. Where did that come from?!? Not a forced peace or a sugar-coated happiness, but the deep authentic joy and contentment that comes from being with what is, right as it is. You mean that peace was there waiting for me on the other side of that insurmountable experience? (Flash back to that children's Bear Hunt song... "Can't go over it, can't go under it, can't go around it, gotta go through it.")

In fact, resisting and holding down what we don't want to feel is what causes it to linger, but letting it pass through without attaching to it with elaborate stories and identification brings us to the joy on the other side.

I come from the spiritual self-help New Thought "woo-woo" traditions. I understand the reasons for "affirming the good", and the power of cognitive re-programming, and the desire to want to "pray it away." But at the same time my practice of Buddhist insight meditation has taught me the value in being present to what is, and developing a new way of relating to our experiences that involves compassion and equanimity without trying to change anything. We can't skip over the parts of ourselves we don't like and still be "whole."

This is where I think process painting is a perfect marriage of these two paths. It's the multi-colored thread that weaves together the where-we-want-to-be's and the where-we-are-right-now's. It's the excavation tool that uncovers the buried and forgotten parts, as well as the flashlight that shines compassion and curiosity on those parts, inviting them to join the banquet of belonging.

The tactile, messy quality of painting and moving with color in a pre-verbal, subconscious and intuitive way is a new (old) kind of medicine. It's an alchemical process on a whole-being level. It happens from within out. In fact, i'm going to go so far as to say that this "healing balm" of mindfulness and creative expression is exactly what is going to bring our troubled world into balance, because let's face it--a world plagued by war and poverty and hunger and inequality is also a reflection of those qualities within each one of us. When I shine light on my own shadow and do my own work, developing self-love and integration, I am at the same time taking a revolutionary step toward healing on a global scale. I am owning it and transforming it on a personal level, one moment at a time.

So what is the pathway from here to happiness? I may not see the entire route, but I know that I cannot bypass the present moment to get "there". The first step begins with this breath, with whatever is showing up. Right now. As it is. The good. The bad. The messy. Me.





Monday, January 27, 2014

Loving The Pieces Who Know Me By Heart

"The time will come when with great elation, you will greet yourself arriving, at your own door, in your own mirror, and each will smile at the other's welcome and say, sit here, Eat. You will love again the stranger who was your self. Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart to itself, to the stranger who has loved you all your life, whom you ignored for another, who knows you by heart..."
—Derek Walcott,  "Love After Love"


As a young girl I can remember experimenting with this totally cool gadget called a "tape recorder". That's right, a device that could record sound on a tape with the touch of just a couple of buttons! I remember getting a little nervous and excited as I pressed the play and record buttons simultaneously. Clearing my throat, I said a few lines. What I said, I can't remember. What I can remember is how I felt when I heard my own voice. It sounded odd and disconnected and it felt bad to hear it. I was ashamed of my own voice  At that moment, I was absolutely certain that I had the ugliest voice in the world. Later that day I told my mom about it. She told me without hesitation that no one liked the sound of their own voice and that it was quite common to be turned off by the whole thing. I had not remembered this until I sat down today to write. What a perfect memory to have dancing through my head! It ties in beautifully with my journey of rediscovering my true voice and learning to value what She has to say. 

Learning to hear and like the sound of my own voice has been a long and interesting process that is far from over. For me it has much to do with weeding out the other voices installed in my head years and years ago. The voice of parent, teacher, peer and sibling all seemed to have free reign in there, while my voice remained quiet and unsure, tucked away in the back corner so she didn't take up too much room. My voice, was being a good girl.

I am beginning to hear her now. Years of painting have helped me. Also, belonging to a community of other people wanting to hear their own voice has helped. Discovering our own voice when we've been taught it's OK and expected not to like or trust it, can be a challenge. For me it starts with loving myself and making friends with the sides of  me I feel don't deserve love, inviting only the pieces of me that work and win to my "table of belonging" isn't enough. The key is to set a place for the parts I have deemed invisible and unworthy.Those discarded bits of myself are in great need of gentle compassion and a nourishing meal that only I can offer. 

Another memory emerges, of hearing my mother calling me home for dinner. The sun was starting to set and the air had a bite to it. Her voice weaved  it's way through our entire neighborhood and it was a welcoming sound. Finding my way home after a full day of  bike riding and creek dwelling felt like the best part of things.Once inside, the smell of food and the warmth of familiar voices was nourishing. I felt loved and that I belonged.

This is what I intend to give back to myself. This is how I will begin to encourage the lost pieces of my own  voice to come home for dinner.

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Transformation: Dancing With The Sacred

"The journey between what you once were and who you are now becoming is where the dance of life really takes place."  —Barbara Deangelis



 
Last week in the studio someone mentioned that, for her, painting is like dancing. After a night of dancing you don't bring home anything tangible, but you feel different...you are transformed from the movement. Painting without the goal of a finished product is very much the same. Once we shake off the uncertainty of needing to look like anyone else, or needing to do it "right", we can close our eyes, feel the music and sway to a beat that pulsates just under our feet. We begin listening to what is uniquely ours. We metaphorically "dance" with paint when we meet our sacred inner partner and begin to move in a way known only to us. This is how we transform.

The month of January is a powerful time for transformation through new beginnings. We'd love to meet you where you are in your journey, and have a variety of painting opportunities for you including a daylong retreat "Purpose, Power & Passion for the New Year" with Wholeness Coach, Intuitive Change Agent and Unity Minister Diana Kennedy. We think you will love Diana and are super-excited to partner with her for this special offering! 
http://creativenectar.blogspot.com/p/purpose-power-passion-for-new-year.html
 
Jenny & StephanieWishing you joyous change & transformation this year,
Jen and Steph