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Monday, October 31, 2011

Shift is Happening


Some ponderings on the human condition and our evolution-in-progress …

I was born during the Dark Ages, when humans used to burn the planet's fossil fuels just to get around, and prescribed "treatments" that caused harmful side-effects, and hoarded money while others starved, and lived under a spell of slavery to the Almighty Clock.

That was a time when you could be judged and condemned because of who you loved, or because of the color of your skin, or because of which path to God you chose.


It was a time when more money was spent on war than on educating and feeding the world's children. Forests and pastures were destroyed to develop a multiplying, yet disposable, economy. Humans would consume more than they could handle. And they sought happiness in all the wrong places, all the while eroding into a numbed depression …

Then one day, or year, or millennium, some of the humans began to question why nothing was satisfying. They began to wonder, "Is what we know to be true really the ultimate reality? The final destination? Everyday, racing the clock, trying to impress, trying to win, trying to get ahead?"

Trying to find everlasting happiness …

The humans started listening to what made their hearts feel vibrant. For some, it was leaving the grand delusion and returning to nature. For some, it was taking time to create. For some, it was helping others. And for some, it was simply feeling gratitude for what IS.

That's how it all started. That's what began the Great Shift …

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Beyond Fear

"A ship in a port is safe, but that's not what ships are built for." —Grace Murray Hopper





Today we painted while asking ourselves these questions, which I now ask YOU, dear reader:
  • What were you built for?
  • Are you living your potential?
  • What would you do if you had no fear?


Tuesday, October 18, 2011

A Day to Celebrate

Today I celebrated the 35th anniversary of coming into this physical world. I can safely say it was a near-perfect day. I was showered with well-wishes from dear friends (thank you Facebook), I spent quality time with my sweetheart, had lunch with my mom, made some meaningful business connections, and spent a good portion of the day engrossed in my own creative process at the studio.

To top it off, the universe gave me a beautiful sunset--the kind that makes you gasp out loud and run for the paints. In fact, my time at the studio today was the greatest gift at all. My relentless inner critic took the day off--surprisingly--and left me in the bliss of playing with color and knowing exactly which mark to make next, feeling a deep satisfaction knowing that I'm on purpose and led in the right directions.

This was just 4 days after getting a heart-breaking rejection letter from a prospective gallery that I'd been pursuing for years. And just a day after feeling the grief of knowing that my time on a particular path had run its course and it was time to move on.

You may being saying "So what?" Well, I'll tell you what it means to me: Things will come and things will go, and we might as well be doing the things we love and spending our time with people we care about, and letting our inner light shine. Because we can waste our lives away with what-ifs and should-haves and feeling sorry for ourselves, but THIS is the moment that counts. This is the life we have, and it is beautiful.

TODAY is a day to celebrate. Despite challenges and heartbreak. If your heart can be broken--Rejoice! At least you know you're ALIVE (and not a walking-dead zombie). So FEEL it, and then when you feel better, take the next step.

When we are in alignment with our true nature, living on purpose and doing what we love, we are bound for glory, no matter what life throws at us. In fact, there is nothing in this world that can keep you from your good. Nothing that can put out your fire or dampen your creative spirit.

Woo-hoo! That is something to celebrate!!! :-)

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Your Time is Limited.....



Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.
 - Steve Jobs

This August I quit my job in a  position I held for over 9 years. I was acting on a very deep gut feeling that I had to leave. Staying was no longer an option, I literally had to get out of there and do what my heart was calling me to do or a part of me would die. I had the notion to leave way before August but something always kept me there....I say "something" obviously it was fear. Still, my inner voice remained and became stronger and louder. Between that and a few things that happened at the office... I  literally felt pushed out of the nest.

When I gave my two week notice, my boss called me crazy. She honestly thought I was losing my mind. Who, in their right mind,would leave a secure job of 9 years at the age of 42 in the middle of a recession without a backup plan other than her small 401k? I am sure it did seem crazy...especially since only a month or so earlier I had announced I needed to use a week of vacation to meet a man in Budapest I had been talking with over the Internet!  Another co-worker asked if I was having a mid-life crisis? And you know, maybe I was. It is not an accident this phrase exists.I think  Around the age of 40 most of us start to recognize that our time is limited. We start to evaluate our life and what we have in front of us. I didn't like what I saw and I knew...for me.... things needed to change. I was indeed wasting my life working for someone else's dream when I knew what my own dream was and continued to ignore it.

Of course, it reminded me of painting. How many times had I been painting when an image wanted to show up on the page that I didn't understand or disapproved of because it wasn't pleasing to my eye?? Or...here's a big one....because I didn't know how to paint it! Generally I know that when I don't surrender to what wants to come I feel miserable inside and out. I have learned that until I surrender to the image or color or whatever is asking to be painted...I am just going through the motions and that edgy dissatisfaction does not go away. So why not in life?? If I am learning to trust my intuition in painting...maybe it's not so different in "real" life. Once again painting was showing me how to live.

So....I now spend my days doing what I absolutely love. My world is full of vibrant color. Just the other day I painted with a friend, her daughter and her mother. Three generations there in the studio painting. It was magic! I don't know how this will all play out and sometimes it doesn't make sense and seems a little crazy...but I do it anyway. Oh and the guy I met in Budapest.....6 months and going strong. I am learning to trust what wants to come onto my page and I am continually delighted.

In peace and gratitude,
 Steph

PS - We have a workshop scheduled Saturday 10.22 and I would love to paint with you!!
Let us know if you'd like to sign up: creativenectar@hotmail.com

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Your Playing Small Does Not Serve The World....

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
- Marianne Williamson "A Return To Love"

I find that as I paint I am slowly  uncovering my own light. Sometimes it feels like the excavation will never end. But... there are the times I am able to bask in the rays of that brillant sun shining brightly beneath layers of dust and rubble. For me painting is sometimes transformative...sometimes rejuvenating, but always necessary in my quest for true self acceptance.The reason I am so passionate about the painting process is because I know how deeply it is changing me....and I want to share it with as many people as possible. I am so grateful for the studio and the painting communityand for the chance to let my light shine.
Peace,
Steph