Painting as a Mirror

The process of painting brings me face to face with the truth of the moment--to the ME that cannot be escaped. There can be no masks, no fabrications. This can be a scary place, truly, but a place as real and as honest as it can get. In this way, painting is like a mirror of my internal experience.

I'm not talking about the way the painting looks, which is a physical result, but painting rather as a verb. The process of showing up to the vastness of the unknown without instructions or a road map. Facing whatever is there: The internal voices in my head that question and moan and try to convince me to ditch the studio to go get something to snack on, or go have a beer...ANYTHING but face the apparent emptiness and uncertainty that is felt in my gut.

But staying with the truth of the moment can bring some interesting results: It's as if the doubts and fears are like the terrifying monsters that stand guard at the temple of the Divine. After seeing them for what they are and courageously stay with them, or even take a step forward, they will eventually be silenced and bow before us, opening the way to a new reality.

So this is our practice... The "Hero's Journey" as Joseph Campbell called it. Standing in our courage and journeying into the unknown, unmoved by fears and distractions and driven by a deep-seated desire to know ourselves and find our bliss. And it starts in the present moment, right where we are, without masks, standing before our painting. As sobering and humbling as it is, where else in our lives can we find such moments of pure honesty?

August @ the Studio

Hello.....
Just a quick entry to let fellow painters know we are taking a break the month of August as we refocus and rework the schedule for September.
This should be an exciting Fall for Creative Nectar. Sarah Oblinger will be back September 16th - 18th
http://www.sarahoblinger.com/

and Jenny and I will both have more time to devote to the schedule and facillitation.
Thank you all for your continued support....we look forward to seeing you in the coming months!!

Blessings
 Steph

Leap of Faith

I did it. After 12 years of steady employment for the same company, I quit my job.

It's not that things were miserable, or that I didn't love the people (because I do) or that I was stagnant (because I was still learning).

The reason I quit my job: Because my soul was nudging me. Something in me is calling me to be more. To share more. To create more. To live authentically. On purpose. To stop playing small and live the life of my own creating. And this, to me, means devoting my full attention to my art and to painting workshops.

So now what? I made it through what felt like the hardest part: Telling everyone (and in my mind, "letting everyone down"). I worked through my last weeks and tied up as many loose ends as I could. Suddenly my days are open-ended. All possibilities exist. And I feel like I did a few years ago when I went hang-gliding over the hills of Georgia. The small plane that pulled us up into the air by rope suddenly "cut the cord" to release the glider--what followed was a moment of mid-air suspension and sheer terror as my stomach nearly jumped out of my body. Okay, that might be exaggerating a little, but I am having moments of panic interlaced with feelings of pure joy and excitement. The first night after my last day at work I had dreams of drowning. The second night I had dreams of planes crashing because they didn't have any wings.

A wise friend suggested--when I told her I was "taking the leap"--to instead use the phrase "I am taking flight." I like that, because it doesn't have the sense of urgent panic but rather suggests spreading one's wings and soaring. Riding the wind and letting one's natural sense of direction lead the way. It doesn't feel as haphazard.

So here we go. In process painting I often encourage painters to take risks. I feel that now, more than ever, I am living my talk. Because life really is like a painting. One stroke at a time. All possibilities open. Awaiting our discovery.

Time to fly!

I love painting.....

Saturday's workshop was awesome! I am always so blown away by how powerful the painting process is and how even now I can still be so resistive to showing up for that next step.

During our writing exercise we were asked to take a few minutes and journal about what it is we freely give to others but do not give ourselves. I was somewhat surprised to find that I freely give kindness and acceptance to others and not to myself. I realized that a big part of this process is about cultivating self  acceptance and self care. Painting asks me to show up for myself and to be patient and kind as I come face to face with a deep part of myself that isn't always pleasant to look at. What I am discovering is when I choose to stay present with what wants to show up on the paper and find some way to soften into the images....they transform into something beautiful. Later that day, I found myself smiling and saying to the bold painting in front of me,

"I like you...very much, just as you are."

One step at a time

"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase." –Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Today was a big day for me and Stephanie. We took a significant step toward giving outer form to our dream, and are proud to say that Creative Nectar Studio is now an official business entity recognized by the state of Kansas.

It may not sound big, but what will follow is huge. In a way it is like putting a mark on paper. Unlimited potential and possibilities exist in the vastness of the blank page, and when we make a mark, we are saying "There, this exists. This is alive now." And each mark we make from there is in response to and in relationship with that first step taken. What grows from there is unknown but unfolding dynamically in each moment. All in relationship to what has come before.

There is something stirring in each of us that wants to be born through us. We are the vehicles through which the formless comes into being. You have something unique to contribute to the world—otherwise you would not be here in this form, at this time.

But what if we don't take that first step? What if we don't make a mark? Or play a note? Or speak the word? Then something within us goes unexpressed. We can feel the temptation to resist the first step out of fear (What if...,what if...?) Sure, we can doubt our own abilities (and undoubtedly we do) but MAYBE we could simply feel the fear and trembling and notice the debilitating thoughts of doubt and despair and still take a tiny...little...baby...step...

This Blog is Your Blog.....This Blog is my Blog...

Sarah,Jenny and I will be posting here from time to time about upcoming events and experiences we might be having in relation to our painting and creating process at the studio. Please feel free to comment and join in on the topics....and if there is anything you would like to see happening at Creative Nectar....let us know.

Our First Workshop at the New Space

I am so glad to be part of all that is unfolding at Creative Nectar Studio.
And I realize that as I allow it all to happen the way it wants to happen...without becoming stuck on how I think it should look or in what manner it should arrive, I am reminded of the painting process. In process painting we are asked if we can be ok with how things have appeared on the paper in front of us. We are asked to sit with the aspects of the painting that feel wrong or out of place and see if we might gain new perspective and compassion for that uncomfortable stuff. For me, I have realized that when I stop struggling against the things that make me uncomfortable or don't seem like they belong, they will ultimately become the very things that shift and become my biggest teacher.
THANK YOU to all who attended our first painting workshop....it was a rich and powerful experience. I look forward to painting again in our new space which feels alive with our collective energies...eager for another journey.
Much love to you all, Steph.

March Paint or Die Saturday Workshop

Join Jenny and Stephanie for a Saturday of process painting. This is the weekend of the Spring Equinox...we can't think of a better way to meet the new season than with some paint and inner regeneration.

Saturday, March 19 · 10:00am - 4:00pm
Creative Nectar Studio
5906 W 59th Terr
Mission KS. 66202
$80 (all materials provided) No experience necessary.
contact us at: creativenectar@hotmail.com to register.

Creative Nectar Studio Supporting community and conscious living through creativity.

Dreaming Out Loud.....

I am feeling so grateful today....sort of feel like it's Christmas Eve or something. Tomorrow night we start our first process painting workshop at Creative Nectar Studio. Sarah O. arrives tonight and set-up begins tomorrow.The process means so much to me.....it has truly changed my life. My one huge dream is to share it with as many people as possible. Creativity in any form is so powerful...I want to provide a space for absolutely ANYONE to come and feel comfortable reconnecting with their creative self.

THANK YOU Sarah, Jenny and Penny for helping to make this happen.

The studio has a new home and purpose

Wow!!!
I am so excited about how things are forming. This summer I really thought I would get myself some studio space and just paint on my own and see what happened.But the Universe has a way of transforming things. For a number of reasons I found myself having to move from the first studio space to a situation closer to home.I met a woman named Penny Thieme who is the director of VALA Gallery in Mission and we became fast friends. I started helping out at the Gallery and then renting some studio space from her. I really didn't even know what to expect but what is happening is amazing and greater than I ever could have dreamed up on my own. My little studio space is only a tiny piece of the pie. Creative Nectar Studio will be home to Paint or Die Workshops. We will offer Process painting with Sarah Oblinger and Jenny Hahn!!! Process painting is a great love of mine and I hope to see it flourish here. We also hope to have on-going activities that stay true to conscious awareness through creativity.I am meeting amazing,creative people. What I hope will happen in this humble endeavor has little to do with me and everything to do with community, creativity and love. Who knew??